Christmas for the Client and the Counsellor

For the Client

Each client’s experience of Christmas will be as unique as each client themselves. I was surprised during my training to learn how many of my peers did not look forward to Christmas and viewed it as a difficult time with painful memories, due to family estrangements, bereavements, not being able to have children, abuse or neglect in childhood and more. I’m a great lover of Christmas and although my wonderful Grandma died on Christmas day 22 years ago, my associations to the season are overwhelmingly good. I have learned not to assume or project my experience onto others, but to listen and to (if they wish to) work with clients to explore the joy, excitement, pain, loss, isolation, complications, anxiety, depression, whatever might come as Christmas approaches.

I don’t wear Christmas clothes or decorate my room, yet Christmas is in the room with us in some way, because we are preparing for a 2 week break for it. Clients from cultures who do not celebrate Christmas are likely to be impacted my it out in the world - it’s everywhere. I work to hold a space for all clients to reflect, or not, on Christmas and how it impacts them. To explore what an ideal Christmas or winter break might be this year or next.

For the Counsellor

Whether it has been your decision to take time off for Christmas or not, and whether you enjoy the festive period or not, it can be a valuable time for reestablishing or protecting time boundaries and tending to your self care and relationships.

I’m taking a full two weeks off and am planning to…

  • Keep my work phone off.

  • Resist checking my work email.

  • Do lots of exercise even though my usual classes will be closed.

  • Slow down and just be. Or try to. Play, rest and chat.

I’ve needed to do a lot of preparation to prepare myself and clients for this. I’ve managed to get ill now instead of at Christmas, so I’m all set!

For those who won’t be spending Christmas with a biological family, I love the idea, taken I think from the LGBTQ+ community of a logical family - those who support you and have meaning in your life.

Rachel Lackey