A New Relationship
After 7 years of working with my wonderful supervisor, she retired last year and I found myself feeling at sea, trying to find my next anchor and sense of direction.
Many of my clients have developed difficulty trusting others. Some also feel uneasy being supported emotionally having been taught not to need this as a child, or finding the experience of seeking support unsatisfying or painful. I can identify! I can quite easily show up, present my clients, receive insight from my supervisor, work through issues, make use of the time, be practical - but attaching to, trusting and being vulnerable with a supervisor in order to really benefit from the relationship, is another matter.
I’m now trying something completely new - dance movement therapy, both as a therapy client and a supervisee. I’m travelling all the way to Morcambe each month to meet with my supervisor in a yoga studio, where I dance, receive supportive touch, connect with my body’s signals, as well as talking, writing and planning, to try to find the best ways to support my clients, and to unblock anything in me that might be getting in the way. It’s new, my third session will be this week, not easy, not secure yet, but growthful.
This new relationship was needed for me to progress towards richer support of my clients, a more vibrant and authentic way of practicing. I wouldn’t have chosen to leave my long-standing supervisor - the relationship was safe and familiar. But I needed the push into the new. It has helped me to appreciate even more my clients’ experience of starting therapy with me. Longing for them to trust me straight away, but knowing that takes time and can be unsettling.
To all those out there taking a chance on a new supportive relationship - risking being the real you with a new person - I salute you!
I’ll keep working to ease my new clients into working with me so that they feel unpressured, safe and supported - knowing that as much as they try to hide their anxiety and reservations - it’s not easy.