Becoming a Shy Extrovert, Parent of an Only-Child and not Doing Mushrooms - with Dorien Davies

“Something about getting older and using your energy toward things that matter to you. And I don’t care anymore what people think of me.”

I’m joined today by my friend Dorien Davies, puppeteer, actor, mum to Poppy and passionate gardener.

Dorien explores becoming shyer as she gets older. Being an extrovert but becoming more uncomfortable at auditions, self critical and needing to conserve her energy for things that matter.

Feeling Rejected on the School Run

She talks about the school run and the mom who always looks so put together. Wondering why she didn’t even acknowledge her and learning to realise it’s not personal and that she doesn’t care!

Trauma and Social Time

She talks about thriving on hugs and being around others. Then the pandemic hitting and before that, her dad getting sick and dying. Before then she used to prioritise social time, drive to four children’s birthday parties in one weekend.

“As you become older expending that energy becomes harder. Making people feel special and acknowledged is something I might have to keep for myself a little bit.”

Parenting an only child during the pandemic

It was 100% harder, says Dorien, because “her only playmates were two 40 year olds” She talks about coping without work, people and creative outlets whilst trying to teach in Spanish (whilst not speaking Spanish).

Dorien talks about the joy of sending her daughter to beach camp and having the full day to herself.

Parenting Grief

“There’s something that dies when you have a child and I don’t know if it’s a bad death, but the freedom of following your interests...even allowing yourself to have an interest. I have to steal away to do something I want to do.”

“As someone’s who’s been so driven my whole life, I’ve gotten duped into this domesticity that now feels so vital and so important that I will miss or forget an important phone call with a producer because I’m so involved in cleaning.”

“Maybe there’s a death in the sense that you realise that what you wanted before is not necessarily the thing that is going to make you happy. Maybe it’s that the fulfilment you get from having a child, it changes the scale.”

Passion for Gardening

Dorien talks about gardening as a healing ritual, even though she doesn’t have a garden. She’s become the head of the landscaping committee for her group on condos and has a veg box she tends with love, and runs the gardening curriculum at her daughter’s school. “

“If you live in a city and you’re recharged by nature, you have to find the pockets.”

You can find Dorien as Lulu on Word Party and Duff’s Happy Fun Bake Time.