Held Together Through Preemie Parenting by Rhianna, Chatty Nurses and Brotherly Love - with Osahon Orchard
Osa tells her story of raising a premature baby, born at only 24 weeks old, and the everyday chat with nurses and other parents that got her through.
“That you knew how to do that, and that you were still excellent at your job and made my kid well and made me feel safe, but also took care of me…just what we needed.”
She talks about needing to forgive herself for taking a little time before she could see him, when he had just been born and was so at risk, to fortify herself. Osa shares how it felt to hold him for the first time, after 4 weeks.
Osa talks about the power of stories, her passion for them, both as a counsellor and for pleasure. Hearing of different experiences as a break from her now - recharging from her busy life. Retreating to someone else’s creativity. Also Rhianna.
Osa talks about having to live at Birmingham Children’s Hospital with her eldest son, whilst friends and family took care of her younger son. She describes not being able to feel like anyone. Feeling like a blob who was there only to take care of her boys.
Things then got better for her son’s health, a year passed, she got “all the jobs”. Then her hair started to fall out and Osa describes the impact of this on her identity and self worth.
“I went back to performing and back to working with young people and encouraging and motivating them and I think that was me unconsciously finding myself again. Back to the base of me.”
She changed her look at that time - colours and hair wraps, to connect to her identity.
Next Osa wants to put down one of her commitments to make space for more creativity, particularly writing and singing. Her beautiful voice closes out this episode.
Take Aways
Listen to the people who know you, see your goodness and tell you that you are loveable.
Take moments (perhaps your commute or returning from the school run) as recharging time.
Fortify yourself before a tough day with powerful music.
Explore clothing colour and hair style/wraps to re-connect with who you are.
Honour your own needs and comforts, rather than just trying to please others.
Osa had so much wisdom and life experience to share with me that I’ve made a part 2, focusing on race and parenting as a black, British, Nigerian mum married to a white, British man, living in a mostly white area. Coming soon!
Osa is a counsellor, counselling tutor, singer and mum. She lives in Staffordshire with her husband and two sons.